Shards of Glass
by HurricaneRain
Summary: Spencer normally would never look twice a Toby Cavanaugh, a tainted and heavily flawed misfit who spent more time with a bottle than with people. But when she is assigned a Psychology project on alcoholism, their worlds begin to merge and collide. Can Spencer keep their relationship strictly professional? Or will it turn into something more? AU. Spoby.


**A/N - YOOO**

**I have a few things to say. First of all - thanks to Cat (poisionwine) for helping me with the initial thought process of this thing and to Nidz (spencer salvawhore) for telling what do.**

**Btw in case you didn't know I used to be spobyfeelsdisorder but I changed, and I will be updating Danger Toils and Snares soon, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. I also deleted C'est Dommage because it bored me lol**

**DISCLAIMER - I DON'T GO TO COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY IN AMERICA I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S VERY DIFFERENT TO THE UK BUT IF I GET SOMETHING WRONG I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME**

**also i'm sorry if this is crap but idk i'm too lazy to proof read. **

**also i dont own pll/spoby/spencer/toby etc. (bet you didn't know that)**

**also go read my friend nidz's (spencer salvawhore) fic called carve your heart into mine its freaking awesome and contains amazing spoby sex**

**~Izzy**

* * *

Spencer's eyes gravitated to the ground, fatigue weighing down the corners of her lips and the top of her head. The tips of her dark curls brushed the surface of her desk, as she struggled to stay awake. It was early, too early for her taste – 8am. Perhaps once the idea of awaking before 10 wouldn't feel dauntingly tedious, but during the past three months Spencer couldn't think of anything worse. The worst part about the whole thing was that she loved the subject to pieces, but focusing seemed near impossible when her mind wondered astray more often than not.

Currently it skimmed over the plan of tonight's event. Her best friend Hanna was striking her 21st year, and expected nothing less than the celebration of the century. Spencer had looked over Hanna's outfit for that night, and her eyebrows had virtually merged with her head. It looked like something a hooker/stripper would wear if they had fallen in a bucket of rainbow glitter. Spencer, however, wouldn't plan on telling Hanna that in a million years. You could insult Hanna's brains or personality all you wanted, but the moment you insult her outfit or hair, shit would go down.

Spencer attempted to rivet her attention to what her lecturer, Dr. Lewin, was saying. She stared over his detailed, color-coded drawing of the brain, scanning the title. It read, 'Alcohol and Substance dependence.'

'Alcoholism and Substance addiction can root from a number of things,' Lewin began, dropping the chalk, 'anything from traumatic childhood to a rough breakup, or even just peer pressure. With addiction so many different things lead to same rough place. People often seem to believe that to cure addiction, all you need is some self-control and an alcoholic's anonymous session in the worst-case scenario. Well, they're wrong; dependence often means that a person not only mentally relies on a substance, but physically. Without said substance the person can go through withdrawrals, which can include side effects like seizures or delirium…'

Lewin carried on, and Spencer only latched onto certain words like 'dependence' and 'rehab', as her mind was distant. She stared outside into the clouds, deciding what shape or thing they looked most like. She began to draw a detailed picture of the Eiffel Tower, complete with immaculate shading in her notebook, on the sheet which was supposed to serve as her notepaper.

By the time it chimed ten-thirty, and Spencer looked down at her paper, she had nothing but several detailed doodles.

She began to gather her things, carefully placing her untouched highlighters, pencils and pens in the correct compartments in her pencil case. As she stood up, after the majority of the class had bustled through the back door, gossiping and talking loudly along the way. Dr. Lewin's eyes shot up from his desk and to Spencer.

'Miss Hastings?' he asked gruffly, 'do you mind staying behind for a second?'

Spencer sighed. She _did_ mind, Aria was supposed to be picking her up from outside, and the petite brunette would grow quickly impatient was Spencer was late. She plastered on a smile, 'sure.'

'Take a seat,' Dr. Lewin said, gesturing towards the seat by his desk.

Spencer sat, smoothing her skirt, 'you wanted to talk to me?'

'Yes,' Lewin said, sighing, 'I'd like you to know I'm extremely sorry about your brother.'

Spencer's heart dropped. So that was what this was about?

'So you heard,' she said lowly.

Spencer's half brother, Jason, had never had the best relationship with alcohol. When he was younger, he'd had a drug problem too, but he had managed to overcome it. People wouldn't suspect he'd be such a drunk; he was always calm and composed, - when sober.

Jason had gotten in to trouble when it came to alcohol many times. Drunk driving, drunken fights, you name it, he'd done it. But he was always okay. He was _Jason_, he had to be. But all it took was one too many drinks, a dark night and a swerve off the road. He was dead before the ambulance came.

It had been four months, yet Spencer was still caught in her initial 'denial' phase. She tried throwing herself back into her work, but everything seemed ten times more boring than it used to. Normally an essay would take her just a few hours, and she could still get top marks. Now studying and working seemed tedious, and even when she could force herself to work it took a good half an hour to stop fiddling with her pen and staring vacantly out the window.

'Yes, and I'm extremely sorry. Not only to lose one so young, but a brother, it's tragic. Were you close?'

'Fairly.'

'Well here's the thing, Spencer. I appreciate your family have suffered great loss, but the University insist that unless you pass your finals, you can't progress and graduate.'

Spencer made a noise of protest, but not before Dr. Lewin continued, 'but of course, you had a perfect average before your brother passed. So it's certain you'll at least finish the year well enough, but Spencer, I _know _you're a gifted student, not a mediocre one.'

'So what do you want me to do?' she asked.

'Can you tell me what we discussed today, Miss Hastings?'

'Alcohol and Substance dependence.'

He smiled softly, 'good, now what I want you to do is a extra credit assignment of sorts.'

'On Alcoholism?'

'Exactly.'

Spencer hesitated, 'like a project, or an essay?'

'A project,' he told her. Spencer nodded, taking mental note, Lewin seemed to notice this, 'you have eight weeks.'

'Eight weeks?' Spencer echoed, 'will I really need that amount of time?'

'Look, Spencer, when you hand this assignment back you can give me one of two things. You can give me a long essay, repeating what can be found on wikipedia, or you can write something that's _really_ about alcohol dependence.'

Spencer nodded her head slowly, taking in his words. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

'Uh, okay…. can I go?'

Lewin nodded. Just before Spencer was about to leave, she spun round, 'may I ask, doctor, what's 'really about alcohol dependence' is supposed to mean?'

He smiled again, showing his crooked, yellow teeth, 'surprise me.'

* * *

'He gave you eight weeks for a project?' Emily repeated, a pink and orange cocktail dangling from her fingers.

'Yeah,' Spencer said, shrugging, 'and he hardly even told me what I was supposed to do.'

Hanna snickered, 'Lewin sounds like he shouldn't be teaching psychology, but getting a psychologist.'

'He's an excellent teacher,' Spencer said, 'but yeah, maybe a little crazy.'

Hanna played with the pink umbrella in her drink, 'damn, I'm pretty sure these things taste better when you're underage.'

'It's because they're less accessible,' piped Aria, 'you guys are so lucky. I really wish I was twenty-one and could a decent Bloody Mary to down right now.'

'Oh, come on Aria,' Emily said comfortingly, 'Jake and you weren't meant to be.'

'But he seemed like such a nice guy…'

'Oh come on, if he was he wouldn't have cheated on your ass,' Hanna said crudely, 'can I get another one of these?' she said to the barman, gesturing to her drink.

'Try a rebound,' Spencer says simply, 'nothing serious, just maybe a date.'

'Oh, I think she's already found a rebound...' Hanna murmured. Three heads turned towards the blonde, who looked up from her drink into Aria's ice-cold glare.

Emily seemed to sense the tension, so hurriedly changed the subject. She raised her glass,' let's make a toast to the birthday girl. Twenty-one years of being a rock star, happy birthday Han!'

The girls clinked their glasses in unison.

'So Spence, you like your psychology teacher then?' Aria asked the brunette.

'Yeah, I guess.'

'Not as much as Aria likes hers…' Hanna added slyly. Aria's eyes shot up and fixated on Hanna's.

'Can we talk for a second, Hanna?' she asked, 'alone?'

Hanna shrugged, and the two stalked off to the bathroom.

'What was up with that?' Spencer asked Emily, who shrugged.

The two were sat in a near empty bar, one Hanna had chosen. She claimed it did the best cocktails. After some dispute they had decided clubbing could wait, as Emily wasn't feeling great and Aria was still upset after her fresh break up with Jake.

'So,' Emily said quietly, 'how are you holding up with Jason?'

Spencer's face fell, 'it still feels alien, you know?' she whispered back, 'I feel like I could call or text him and he'd be okay, just as he was when I last called.'

Emily stroked her friend's shoulder sympathetically, 'I'm so sorry, Spence.'

Spencer sighed, 'can we just…talk about something else?'

Emily nodded, giving her friend a kind smile.

The two made pleasant small talk, awaiting their friends' return from the bathroom. Spencer soon noticed Emily's eyes were latched onto something behind her… or more _someone._

Spencer turned and followed Emily's gaze. Her eyes were riveted to a man who sat alone a few seats down. His head hung downwards, staring into his glass, into the clear liquor.

'Is that you, Toby?' she called to the man, whose head shot up.

Spencer took that time to survey his appearance. His hair was unruly and chestnut, and looked like it had been slept on and not combed. Stubble shadowed his jaw, and his shoulders were broad and strong looking. But what caught Spencer's attention the most were his eyes, which reminded her of a storm. They were bluish-grey, complete with pale silver flecks that reminded Spencer of rain. They held a sort of angry soulfulness, one that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

He gave Emily a small, reserved smile, 'Emily?'

'God, it's been years since I last saw you!' Emily scooted up a couple of seats, 'how have you been?'

Toby's eyes looked cold, 'okay,' he answered shortly, not fully meeting Emily's eyes.

His eyes connected with Spencer's, his face further darkening. Emily turned to Spencer, as if to look whether something was wrong with her that Toby had noticed. Spencer half-wondered it too, as he seemed to look at her as if he was angry.

'Who's your friend?' he asked dryly.

'Oh, this is Spencer,' Emily said with a small smile, 'we're both at this college here. I'm here on a swimming scholarship and Spence is majoring in Psychology.'

Toby smiled politely, 'you're alone?'

'Uh, no. We're with our friends Aria and Hanna.'

'Oh I remember Aria,' Toby said, 'was she the small one with fork earrings?'

Emily grinned, 'yeah, that's her.'

There was a pause, before Spencer asked 'so how did you guys meet?'

'Oh we were neighbors back in Rosewood,' Emily filled in, 'we lost touch when you moved out and I went to college.'

Another silence. Toby took a sip of his drink.

'Are you here with a friend?' Spencer asked Toby casually, picking at her nail.

Emily flashed her a warning glance, but not before Toby answered quickly, 'no.'

Toby still stared at Spencer intensely, giving her a look of what Spencer could only describe as a fusion of anger and fascination. It made her feel uncomfortable, so she stared into her drink.

Hanna and Aria returned, shooting each other slightly annoyed glances, taking a seat next to Emily and Spencer.

'Hi….?' Hanna said vaguely to Toby, a stenciled eyebrow arching.

'This is Toby,' said Emily, 'he's an old friend.'

'Uh… right.' Hanna said, looking as if she didn't really care.

'I should probably go,' Toby stood, knocking back the remainder of his drink.

'Nice to see you, Toby.' Emily called after him. He didn't seem to acknowledge her farewell.

'Wow,' Aria said raising her brow, 'what was up with him?'

'Well…' Emily murmured, 'I heard…'

'Heard what?' Spencer questioned.

'Well… I heard something really bad happened to him a couple years ago and…'

'Spill, Emily.'

'I really shouldn't tell you. Especially since I'm not even sure it's true but…' Emily sighed heavily, 'I heard after this mysterious tragic event, he started drinking. A lot.'

'That explains drinking alone in a bar for no apparent reason,' Hanna muttered.

* * *

The girls, after gossiping for a few hours and knocking back their fair shares of cocktails and margaritas, left the bar. The four of them headed down the sidewalk, their reflections following them in the rain-coated floor. Their heels clicked in virtual unison.

They arrived at Emily's car, all awkwardly standing, awaiting someone to get into the driver seat.

'Uh, Aria,' Hanna said, 'sadly we don't have all night. Going to get in?'

'I'm not driving,' replied Aria.

'Yes, you are.'

'No, Emily is driving.'

Emily shook her head, 'nope. I drove here.'

'Well I can't drive!' exclaimed Aria, 'my water to alcohol ratio is too high!'

'But we _told_ you you're driving!' snapped Hanna irritably, 'we can't walk back! My apartment is like ten blocks away, and it's dark!'

Emily looked to the sky, 'and it looks like it's about to rain…'

'Well why didn't you stop me from drinking then?'

'I'm not your babysitter, Aria!'

'Can we just stop for a second?' Spencer interjected, 'Aria, were you driven?'

The petite brunette looked thoughtful for a second, before saying hesitantly, 'maybe…'

Spencer rolled her eyes, 'great. Now, how the hell are we getting back?'

There was a pause, before Hanna said reluctantly, 'I guess I'll call Mona and see if she can pick us up.'

Hanna whipped out her cell, dialing a number and holding it to her ear, she shot Aria an accusing look, 'let's just pray she hasn't gone out.'

After a few seconds, a voice on the other end picked up, 'hello?' Mona said shrilly.

'Hey Mona, it's me Hanna,' Hanna twirled a piece of golden hair round her finger, 'um, we're trapped outside this bar, as _someone_,' she looked at Aria, 'drunk even though she was supposed to be driving.'

'Right,' Spencer heard Mona say from the other line, 'so you can't get back from the party I wasn't invited to?'

'Uh, well Mona you see, um….'

Hanna stopped, as Mona chirped something to her Spencer couldn't make out.

'So you'll pick us up?' Hanna asked brightly. Hanna chorused the address to Mona, 'ok thanks Mona, love ya'!'

Hanna snapped her phone shut and grinned, 'and now I guess we wait.'

When Mona pulled up at the curb, it was almost 3am. Mona rolled her window down, 'you're chauffer's here,' she said wryly.

Hanna got in next to her, Emily and Aria taking the back seat. Spencer looked past Mona, into the back seat, 'uh, in case you haven't guessed, there's no way five people are going to fit in this car.'

Emily gave her a sympathetic look, 'do you want my seat, Spence? I'll walk back – '

'No, it's fine Em. I'll just –' she looked around her, it _did_ look like it was going to rain, 'walk….'

'Are you sure?' Hanna asked.

'No, I insist,' Spencer reassured her, 'I'll see you back at the apartment.'

* * *

It took a bit of convincing before Hanna, Emily and Aria let her walk back on her own, but Spencer would rather she was walking home on her own than any of them.

Spencer cast her gaze to the sidewalk, watching the light from the streetlamps bounce off it. She felt a droplet of something damp and cold on the neck and groaned.

Spencer walked fast, focusing on the clicking of her shoes on the concrete. Walking a long way home, in the dark and on her own made her feel nervous, so she aimed to reach her apartment as soon as possible.

And now her feels of dread had doubled, just because she was coming up for the local cemetery. Of course she didn't believe in ghosts or zombies or vampires, she was a girl of science, but now feelings of doubt were beginning to clog her greater judgment. As much as she like a good zombie flick, she really didn't want to reenact one.

She felt more terrified now, wishing she'd squeezed herself in the trunk of Mona's tiny car instead of having to brave this walk.

She looked down at the ground, watching her feet go back and forth –

She felt a hand tapping on her back and almost jumped three feet in the air. She stifled a scream, spinning around and expecting an axe murderer or a zombie.

She was relieved to see it was neither.

It was Toby.

'What are you doing here?' she breathed, exhaling with relief.

He looked at his shoes awkwardly, 'I was uh – visiting a friend.'

'Right,' Spencer replied breezily, 'so, what do you want?'

Her words came out with more venom than she intended, and Toby looked slightly taken aback.

'I was just wondering why you were walking on your own at this time of night.'

'Oh, that,' Spencer shrugged, 'long story short – we didn't all fit in the car.'

Toby gave her a slight smile, 'as weird as this may sound,' he said, 'I'd feel guilty if I let you walk back on your own.'

* * *

They walked in virtual silence, a few inches apart.

Toby broke the silence eventually, asking 'Emily said you're doing psychology?'

'Yeah, I am.' Spencer answered.

'How is it?'

She sighed, 'it's okay, I guess. I just got assigned this massive presentation on – '

'On what?'

Spencer thought to herself whether or not she should say. If what Emily said was true about Toby not having a fantastic relationship with alcohol, she didn't want to mindlessly babble to him about alcoholism.

'Alcohol and Substance dependence.'

'Oh,' Toby said, 'sounds interesting.'

'It's not easy,' Spencer told him quickly, 'my professor's been totally vague about the whole thing. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do – the only prompt he gave me was 'surprise me''

Toby nodded. They fell into silence again, and remained that way until Spencer reached her apartment.

She turned to him, a small smile crossing her lips, 'thanks for walking me back,' she said, 'I'm not going to lie – that cemetery creeped me out a little.'

He didn't reply, but instead looked thoughtful, as if pondering a decision.

'Anyway,' Spencer said, 'thanks.'

She turned, ready to enter her apartment building.

'Wait,' Toby called after her, taking a few steps forward, 'I'll help you.'

She looked back at him over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes in confusion, 'help me with what?'

Toby scratched the back of his head, 'um – with your project thing.'

'On alcoholism?'

'Yeah…'

She was quiet.

'Emily told me that… you – '

'Were a raging alcoholic?'

Spencer smirked, 'no actually. That you drank on occasion.'

Toby looked mildly amused, 'Emily has a habit of glorifying the truth, doesn't she?'

'So you admit it?'

Toby shrugged, 'why deny it? That wouldn't help anyone.'

'You know I've never met an alcoholic quite like you, Toby.'

'I guarantee you've never met anyone like me in any sense.'

Spencer laughed a little.

Toby's smile faded, 'so will you let me help you? Having someone who's actually got problems with alcohol's perspective will probably surprise your professor.'

Spencer grinned, 'why not?'

'So you'll call me?' Toby asked hopefully.

'Yeah, I will.'

* * *

**Um k sorry if it was horrible but please review. Tell ya what if it gets ten reviews by the time 4x10 has aired i'll update the next day.**

**Reviews are sunshine to my rain ~Izzy**


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